We had Career Day last week. That is a story unto itself, but one moment comes to mind today. An owner of a hair salon was speaking to my class about her job. She was stylish and smartly dressed. She told the kids that she felt like she never had to work, because she loved what she did so much.
So, did they have any questions?
(Of course, they did.)
Geneva: How much money do you make?
Me: Whoa!!! Whoa!!!
Nice lady: I make enough money to make me happy.
(Wow! Nicely handled... are you sure you aren't a teacher?) Me: Okay, class, life lessons time. Turn your body towards me. Listen up. Nobody did anything wrong, because I didn't explain this earlier, but you need to understand that it is very impolite to ask someone how much money they make. The same way it's inappropriate to call someone "poor" or say someone else is "rich." Okay?
Class: murmurs... mumbles... okay... (whispers of how much does she make? followed by my death glare)... more mumbling...
Nice lady: nods along and smiles
Me (sensing generalized confusion): Guys, impolite means that it's rude. You know how our class has rules? Well, there are some rules in life, too, and one of the rules is that we don't talk about how much money people have unless we are family or very close friends.
Class: (light bulb!)
Geneva (raises her hand and the Nice Lady calls on her): So, where did you get your earrings?
Fast forward to dismissal a few days later. A heated debate breaks out in my classroom about whether or not Santa is a real person. The kids are packing up and stacking chairs and in a hurry to get out and go home. They are also in an emotional tizzy, because a few of them have not contemplated that Santa might be fictitious. Compounded with the pressure to make a hard nosed point and resolve this critical issue, voices are rising and the argument is reaching critical mass.
I start to worry that they are going to ask me what I think. We have been instructed to change the subject if asked about the plausibility of Santa. Since teachers are authority figures, it's illegal for us to share our opinion on the matter. (I start going through my head of possible answers to the question and settle on: The school district has contacted Santa, I'm not sure if it was a real or fake Santa, but he was asked not to come to school. He's too big of a distraction from learning. [big cheesy smile]) Luckily it didn't come to that, because the kids were taking matters into their own hands.
Santa Claus is NOT REAL! (Geneva is emphatic.) He is just a rich man that passes out gifts to everyone!
A hush falls over the room. For a moment I am stunned. What just happened?
RoseMary looks at me with wide eyes. I notice that most of the kids are looking at me with similar expressions.
You can't say that word. She almost inaudibly whispers to Geneva.
What word?
(I admonish myself silently. I don't remember having the Santa talk with them. In fact, I thought it was just me that couldn't say Santa. Dang, this whole Christmas thing has gone too far... now even the kids are paranoid.... no wonder my principal is in knots about this stuff.)
Rich. You can't say rich.
Yeah! You can't say that, Geneva! That's impolite! It's not nice to talk about how much money Santa has! (Several kids hop on this band wagon and start pointing.)
Ever the diplomat, Geneva knows that she has lost this battle.
Okay, okay! You know what I mean... He's just got a lot of stuff....
I have to turn and face the window.
Life lesson: Don't laugh at children that are trying hard to be respectful good people, even when they are FUCKING HYSTERICAL!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment