Oh poop.

All of my friends know... I don't talk about poop or anything relating to poop.  It's a no-no.  I swear like a sailor and could probably make a foul-mouthed pirate blush, but poop talk is not in my comfort zone.  For the sake of the blog, I have taken the bull by the horns approach, but in my everyday life it's just another story.  Who I am as the writer in my mind and who I am as a person in real life are two totally separate things.

In my class, we use the American Sign Language sign for the letter R as a way of asking permission for the restroom.  The middle finger laces over the pointer finger and I know that someone has to go.  There's no talking about it, because the bathroom is private.  I don't let kids use the bathroom during a lesson, unless it's a total emergency and then I tell them not to even ask.  Just get up and go.  An emergency means that you are going to wet your pants and since A) I don't want to scar any kids for life with utter humiliation and B) I hate a smelly mess, I allow for the "emergency clause."  

Surprisingly, there has been very little abuse of the emergency clause.  I think this is also in part to our regularly scheduled bathroom break before lunch.  Yea!  Happy day... see how I don't have to talk about the bathroom, even though I'm surrounded by 8 year olds all day, every day, five days a week?!?!

That is, until today, when Lukas decided to get out of his seat and whisper in my ear.

I have to poop.

Huh?

I have to poop.

Okay.  Go.

I don't have to pee.  I have to poop.

Ummm, are you okay, Lukas?  

Yeah.  I just have to poop.

(Oh. My. God.  Please don't say it again. Please don't say it again. Brain, be still, stop panicking.  It's just a word.  Smile gently.)  Okay, so go use the restroom now.

I did not get it.  Why did this kid have to tell me that he was going to poop?  First of all, let me just say that I didn't know if Lukas could speak English for the first 4 weeks of school.  And mostly, that was just because he barely spoke at all.  When he finally did start talking, it was about rocks, then about legos, then about his parents divorce, and now, poop.  

Kids will never cease to amaze me.  I know that there is something up with that, but I just can't figure out what it is.  Does he not go away from home?  Was that like a big deal or something?  Was he confiding a secret to me?  Was he just trying to freak me out?  

What the fucking shit is that damn poop talk about?  It's freakin' me out...

What's Chaz Gotta Do with It?

Somebody told me that I kind of looked like Chaz Bono the other day.  Excuse me?

Yeah.  Before he was a man.  When he was Chastity Bono.  You kinda look like him then.

Ummmm.

So I googled some pictures of Chastity Bono and I guess if you just look at the ones where she's in make-up and has really long blonde hair with bangs and is holding her guitar, then maybe I bear a resemblance to that.  I guess, because I'm white and I have long blondish hair.

On the other hand, I suppose I look kinda like Pamela Anderson or Blake Lively if you want to use that criteria... so I mentally gave that person the finger, smiled, and said thanks I feel famous.

The whole Chaz thing came up, because my team was talking about a student with a gender identity issue during lunch.  Ashley is in Ms. Bullock's class.  She's a tomboy.  Not just a girl that can rough and tumble, but an honest to goodness tomboy.  This year, though, she's stepped it up a notch.

Most of the kids don't realize that Ashley is a girl.  Almost all of them refer to her as "him."  Ashley wears cargo shorts, a polo shirt, and sneakers everyday.  Mostly she plays basketball or games with the boys at recess.  On occasion, she will accuse another girl of being a boy, but she doesn't seem to make an issue out of it.

About a week ago, Ashley cut off her hair and began to style it like a boy haircut.  This blew my mind.  Ms. Bullock was entirely unfazed.  I think Ashley is one of those kids that saps your energy in so many other ridiculous ways that the kind of hair style she chooses or clothes she wears seems petty to nitpick.

Ms. Bullock is also emotionally and mentally evolved.  "I don't want to decide what Ashley's gender is when she's 8 years old.  What if she changes her mind?  So, it's all yes ma'am and no ma'am for me."  See what I mean?  Who looks ahead like that?  Sometimes kids wind up with just the right teacher.

Today, Ashley decided to check into the boys bathroom at recess.  Who would stop her?  She looks, acts, and talks like a boy, so anyone who wasn't familiar with her would just assume she was right where she was supposed to be.  So, now she's not allowed to use the restroom during recess.  Simple solution.

For some reason, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around this situation.  I don't get it.  Can kids know that young that they should have another body than the one they were born with?  Seems like maybe so.  Or maybe not.  What if she does change her mind?  Hair grows back, clothes can change, and new friends are made.  Where does this come from though?

And is there anyway that we can isolate this issue for what is... a kid that is confused... and stop comparing me to Chaz!!!  I'm happy for you now, man, but I've got to draw the line somewhere.  Luckily, I think I've found it and it's somewhere near the boys bathroom.