Bitch Stole My Ride...

Yes.

I am talking about an 8 year old.

One of my ga-dang kids put their grubby hands in my purse and snatched some old gummy bears and my keys.  It didn't click until the end of the day when I was crouched down next to my car digging through my purse looking for my keys at 5 pm on Friday evening.

Yes.  Friday.  Evening.

Still in my observation window.

Not that I don't usually stay and get ready late one or two nights a week, but point made.

It's Friday and I was ready to go and I'm fishing for my keys and my hand hits the old gummy bears in my purse and then I remember.

We were in the science lab in the morning and a few of the kids tell me that Tawanda is eating gummy bears.  I shrug it off, because she is always eating something and can we please just compare the salt water to the fresh water for Pete's sake???

And now, I'm kicking myself.  She got the effing gummy bears out of my purse.  I had hung it up way out of reach.  I have been locking away all of their stuff and just hanging up my stuff thinking that was enough of a deterrent.  I guess that was wrong.

It had been a hell of a day.  Started out kind of rough.  Tawanda told me that she was getting beat up at her apartment.  Geneva confirmed it.  There was a fire drill.  The sub didn't come for Ms. Jetson, so we had to split her class and we had 4 kids join us.  We went to the science lab.  At recess, a police helicopter landed on the school gym and the principal announced a soft lockdown due to an armed robbery at the gas station a few blocks away.

Three kids cried.  I don't blame them.  The helicopter thing was scary.  Tawanda told me that she was mad at me and wanted me to give her something.  I explained that I am not a money tree.

Ahhhh!  Fuck. Fuck.  Fuck.  Long ass day.  I think she was so pissed that she took my keys and by the end of the day had a change of heart or was scared that she would get caught with them and pitched them before she got on the bus.

This is not good.  It sucks for me that some of Tawanda's acting out is directed towards me.  I don't know how to help her sometimes.

I'm not perfect.  I forget things.  Like reminding her to do x or y or z.  Or I forget to pick my purse up off the floor when we have a schedule change.  Or I get distracted sometimes.  I'm just human and I don't respond perfectly in every situation.  I'm not a robot.  I wish I was...  Sometimes, I really wish I was.

Lesson Plans Part 2

Let me say one more time... Writing rigorous lesson plans for 5 subjects for 5 days plus intervention plans in Math and Reading is TOO MUCH FUCKING WORK FOR ONE PERSON!!!!  It is the second week back and I am already behind.  I'm behind in grading, in plans, and in sleep.  My room is a mess.  I feel discombobulated.  I'm not ready for work.  It's too much.  It's too much.  It's too much.  I leave my kid at daycare at 6:30, so I can get to work at 7:10.  Even if I leave at 3:10 and get her at 3:30, my 1 year old has been in daycare for NINE hours and that NEVER happens.  I usually get there at 4:00 at the earliest.  So, ya know, screw it.  I've mostly done my plans.  I know what I'm doing tomorrow.  I need to go to bed.  When I get a freaking second tomorrow, I will finish my plans and send them off and I am going to make a concerted effort to get it in gear at school and get caught up.  And I am going to walk out of that door at 3:10 every damn day so I can be with my babydoll.  I'm done being a slave to work.  I'm gonna get it done at work.  I will.  But I'm not staying up all fucking night and all damn weekend to NOT GET PAID.  I'm gonna get my bedtime in check.  I'm gonna get these grades posted.  I'm gonna automate these fucking plans.  But I'm not working at home.  If I have to occasionally work an extra hour so be it, but NOT EVERY DAY.  My baby shouldn't have to be in daycare for 45 hours a week.  That's insane.  I don't have a choice about it, but I'm not going to make her day any longer than it has to be.  And that is that.  This is reasonable, right?