It's never THAT easy....

So come to find out, I can't just exercise my "right of refusal."

Well, I could.   There would be a shitload of paperwork and Tawanda would get pushed into someone else's classroom on my team.  I wouldn't be allowed to talk to her and she wouldn't be allowed to come back to my class.

So that's not an option.

I don't want to refuse her if that is the case.

1. I am not evil.

2. I love little fucked up Tawanda and it won't be good for her to go to someone else's class that she doesn't know and be a throw away kid.

(Sidenote: I thought that if I "refused" her, that she would go the the "structured" classroom where she knows and loves the structure teacher and teaching aide.   Plus, I thought that she could come back to me, when she started her medication.)

3.  I am not evil.  Oh, did I already say that?  I meant it.  I wouldn't do that to a co-worker.

4.  Plus, that's like saying that you can't handle it.  And that is not what I'm saying.  I'm really saying: Hey, if my student is spitting on people, would you, please, do something about it???? For example, how would you respond if she spat on you?  Or your child?  What if she stole out of your purse?

So I'm a little bit stuck for the time being.  I have a few days respite and hopefully, she will be back on her meds after Monday.  I don't know.  I have my fingers crossed on this one.

Fuck my life...

I love my job.  I love my job. I love my job.

Fuck my life.

If I didn't love my job, then fuck my life.

It's a good thing that I love my job and give a fuck about what the hell I do, because otherwise I would just say fuck this shit.

Instead, I'll just go with fuck my life.

My mother read my blog today, while we were in the doctor's office and she just said...

Michelle, you seem a little bit frustrated with your job.

Ain't that the truth?

I got an end of day message from my principal that I was going into my observation window..... TOMORROW!!!

WTF???  Panic mode!

1. Tawanda is a mess.  She is spitting on other kids and out of control.  I can't take my eyes off of her for a second and I think that I am about to lose my mind.

2.  My other kids are a mess.  Tawanda is spitting on the them... seriously?  Can you blame them?

3.  I'm a mess.  I'm disorganized and confused.  One kid has me in a freaking tizzy.  I'm throwing interventions at her left and right, but nothing is working.  I'm staying after school to write soliloquies to her therapist, but to no avail.

I know that I'm doing a good job, but I sure as hell don't want my observation right now.  I've got to act and act fast.  I talk with the structured learning teacher, who is a badass.  She runs down the lists of interventions.  Did you try...

defining the space?
recess detention?
lunch detention?
positive reinforcement?
theft deterrent structures?
positive thinking reinforcements?
cleaning up the mess?
writing an apology letter?
saying sorry?
counseling referral?
behavior documentation?
parent communication?

YEEESSSSSS!!!!!

I rattle off a bunch of other stuff that we do in the classroom.  And then she says those magic words that hadn't occurred to me yet....

You know that you have the right of refusal....

Huh?  Yeah.... but won't that make admin mad at me.

No... in fact, if you just make the case that your kids aren't able to learn, which, obviously, they aren't, and you can show that you have taken the steps to provide appropriate interventions, then you have the right to refuse any student that is preventing instruction and learning from occurring in your classroom.

SWEEEEEEEEETTTTT!!!!!

So, I have to call my mom to get her to take my daughter to the doctor for me so that I can exercise my right of refusal before tomorrow by meeting with someone on admin.   Which brings me to the point where I am saying to my mother how frustrated I am once I finally do make it to the doctor's office.

Because even after I get the sweet respite that I won't have Tawanda in my class tomorrow, I still find out that my kid is sick and running a fever and have to plan with my folks how to stay home with her and wake up early tomorrow so I can go in early and get things ready just in case I get observed, so I won't be panicky.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.  And Tawanda... she's gonna need it.  She's going to be in the structured classroom for a while it seems.